Posted by
Barbara Hunter on Monday, October 09, 2006 9:43:42 PM
What Is Forgiveness?
By Barbara Hunter
The events of the past few years have given us more than our share of violence, bloodshed, and torment. The Oklahoma City bombing, the 1993 bombing of World Trade Center (in the futile attempt to bring down the Twin Towers), the discoveries of mass graves in many parts of the world, the deliberate starvation of entire populations, massacres, beheadings, planes flown into skyscrapers, and most recently the murders of little girls at a one-room Amish school - have produced dozens of polls and interviews about whether these acts are "unforgivable." As expected, quotations from the Old or New Testament are used as justification for either giving or withholding forgiveness. In each case, the basis of forgiveness or its lack is whether the person "deserves" to be forgiven.
In my view, what is being called forgiveness is not forgiveness at all, but rather judgmentalism. Consider the following: If you forgive someone, or if you refuse to forgive, this has absolutely no effect on the persons whose deserving you are judging. Either they see the error of their ways and turn from their evil-doing, or else they continue and perhaps even enjoy the horror their iniquity has wrought.
Our forgiveness or lack of it probably doesn't change the criminals or other evil-doers. However, the willingness or refusal to forgive does have a profound on someone: ourselves. The genuine act of forgiving strengthens our mentality and builds our arsenal of love, with the inevitable good effect on our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. On the other hand, the judgmental act of refusing to forgive because the evil-doers are "undeserving" of our forgiveness builds a very different arsenal - one of hate, anger, and destructiveness that can poison our very being. Simply stated, how much would you like to hurt yourself?
The assignment of judging what others do or do not deserve was not given to us. Our task is before us, and it is a full-time job, and it does not include playing God.